When I heard that we were going to have a shelter in place order, after a small moment of panic about how I was going to survive three weeks at home, I started to make a list of all the things that I was going to get done:
- Reorganize the garage
- Set up an office in the garage
- Weed the backyard
- Weed the front yard
- Re-hang the closet door that broke months ago
- Write a novel
- Start a podcast
- Finish Zelda: Breath of the Wild
- Watch Star Wars with my son
- Build a shed in the backyard
I had some lofty goals. Because, hey, I was going to be home all.of.the.time.
It’s true, I have been home constantly. I have spent hours and hours and hours at home already. But I have not gotten a single thing on my list accomplished. Honestly, nothing on this list has gotten started even. Heck, I barely know what day it is today. And it has not been that long. It’s only day four.
And last night I was starting to feel pretty frustrated with myself. I’ve had three full days at home and I can’t even start on my big to-do list? Am I lazy? Unfocussed? Unmotivated?
But more importantly, I’m going through it right now. A new routine, a new way of being, new responsibilities, and new systems. I think I underestimated the ways that I would have to adjust to this new way of life. As it would turn out, there are a lot of responsibilities still.
So I just need to give myself a little grace. I need to receive and welcome the grace that is offered to me. I may get to my big to-do list, (I mean, I probably won’t get a novel written) but if I don’t, that’s ok too. Because we’re all just figuring out how to do this right now. We’re all figuring out how to make it in this time. This transition may come more naturally to some than it does to others. I hope that you know that wherever you are, however difficult this may or may not be, that’s ok. Give yourself some grace. Accept the grace that is offered to you. Breath deeply. You’ve got this.